Humor and Inspiration

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“Retarded” Grandparents

Written by a third grader, on what his grandparents do.

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holidays away from school. One child wrote the following:

”We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona. Now they live in a tin b

Humor and Inspiration

Salesmanship!

The children filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious succes

Humor and Inspiration

A Compendium of Pontifications

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
To write with a broken pencil is poi

Humor and Inspiration

Five Minute Management Course

Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower, just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands David, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, David says, “I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.”
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Humor and Inspiration

Obama at the Pearly Gates

When Obama died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive?"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "T

Humor and Inspiration

Why God made Moms!

Answers given by 2nd grade schoolchildren to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for

Humor and Inspiration

Walk naked in America day!

Don't forget to mark your calendars.

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide.

So next Saturday at 1 PM eastern time, we are asking all American women to walk out of their houses completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your bloc