Pun Intended
-
The roundest
knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
- I thought I saw
an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical
Aleutian.
- She was only a
whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
- A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class
because it was a weapon of math disruption.
- The butcher
backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be
stationery.
- A dog gave birth
to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
- A grenade thrown
into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
- Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
- Time flies like
an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- A hole has been
found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- Two hats were
hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay
here, I'll go on a head.'
- I wondered why the
baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- A sign on the
lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
- A small boy
swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When
his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ' No change yet.'
- A chicken
crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- It's not that
the eunuch did not know how to juggle; he just didn't have the balls to do
it.
- The short
fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- The man who
survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
- A backward poet
writes inverse.
- In democracy it's
your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
- When cannibals
ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
- Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects!
