Southern ideas
Tennessee
The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided
to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office
and said, 'You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help.
If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?'
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, 'Everything but my
earrings.'
Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the
day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight
of an eight-point buck. 'Where's Henry?' the others asked.
'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail,' the successful hunter replied.
You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?' they
inquired.
'A tough call,' nodded the hunter. 'But I figured no one is going to steal
Henry!'
Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into
the ditch. The Sheriff asked, 'Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't
you see that sign right over your head'.
'Yep', he replied. 'That's why I
dumpin it here, cause it says 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'.
Louisiana
A senior at LSU was overheard saying... 'When the end of the world comes, I
hope to be in Louisiana .'
When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in
Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the
rest of the civilized world.
Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his
buddy, 'Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking
lot!'
Bubba replied, 'Did you see who it was?'
The young man answered, 'I couldn't tell, but I got his license number.'
Georgia
A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper asked, 'Got
any I. D. ?'
The driver replied, 'Bout whut?'
North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road,
and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind
it.
Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove
by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what
the problem was..
The man replied, 'I have a flat tire.'
The passerby asked, 'But what's with the flowers?'
The man responded, 'When you break down they tell you to put flares in the
front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make no sense to me neither.'
South
Carolina
You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heard of anyone
wanting to retire to the North!!!
