LONDON, England (PNN) - October 2, 2024 - As of today, the Fascist United Kingdom (FUK) “Chicken License” is in full effect. October 1 marked the deadline for registering your chickens with the proper authority.

Moving forward, anyone caught with an unlicensed chicken will be in breach of the law and subject to fines and poultry reclamation.

I am entirely serious.

Back in March, the FUK government’s “Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs” (DEFRA) announced changes to the poultry registration laws, essentially redefining a “flock” from “50 birds or more” to 1.

So from now on, everybody in the country who keeps even a single bird - not just chickens, all outdoor birds - has to register as a poultry keeper.

You understand, this is all about protecting birds and the public from avian influenza, not at all about increasing government monitoring with the final aim of stamping down on self-sufficiency.

Banish that cynical thought from your head.

Fortunately, the people of the FUK have a tried-and-tested method of dealing with absurdity - more absurdity.

In the run-up to the deadline thousands of people took to the DEFRA website to register their “chickens” - frozen, nuggets, unhatched, and even rubber.

The result is that the online service strained… and then broke.

All poisoned data flooding the system rendered the register all but useless. What a tremendous display of the power of malicious compliance.

Good work.