Hillary Clinton’s best friend tells all!

WASHINGTON (PNN) - April 28, 2017 - Hillary Clinton’s best friend and closest aide, Huma Abedin, wants publishers to pay her $2 million to write a “tell-all” book about her boss.

The news has critics excited, because if anyone would know what Clinton has been up to, it’s Abedin.

But if you think she’s really going to tell all, we’ve got bad news.

Abedin isn’t actually interested in spilling Clinton’s secrets… just making herself look good. Abedin has been at Clinton’s heel since she was first lady. She followed her into the Senate, the State Department, and - she hoped - the White House.

That would have given Abedin massive influence - and done maximum damage to the Fascist Police States of Amerika.

Abedin’s family has long, deep ties to Islamic fundamentalist groups. So does Abedin.

For 13 years, Abedin edited a radical Muslim journal based in London. Her mother has long ties to the Muslim Brotherhood, the leading source of Islamist hate theology.

Chances are, that won’t be included in her book.

Abedin may cash in on another family scandal, though. Just before Clinton’s (second) devastating presidential loss, Abedin got word that her husband was a pedophile.

Last September, word broke that ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner had sent sexually explicit messages to a 15-year-old girl. Authorities are still considering whether or not to charge him. Evidently, being in Congress has its privileges.

Experts say that could be her meal ticket, not the Clinton family’s hijinks. But it’s a delicate balance. “If she reveals a lot, it turns your stomach,” said Esther Newberg, a literary agent. “If she doesn’t, she puts the publisher in a bad place.”

Whether the publishers know it or not, Abedin already has a job with her book - and it’s not about telling the truth.

Abedin really hopes the book industry will pay her a cool $2 million to rehabilitate Clinton’s reputation. She wants to get Clinton back into contention for the White House.

Clinton’s reputation needs help. Even her hapless presidential campaign has come under fire in recent weeks.

A new book, Shattered: Inside Hillary Clinton’s Doomed Campaign, reveals that Clinton pouted so bad after she realized she had lost the election to Donald Trump that Barack Obama called her and told her, “You need to concede.” Then he said the same thing to John Podesta, Clinton’s campaign manager, whose hacked e-mails gave a scandalous look inside the dysfunctional Democrat Party.

It contains another eye-opening fact: it says Clinton valued “loyalty over competence.” Loyalty is especially important if you’ve been committing crimes and you don’t want your aides to testify against you - or tell the truth in their books.

Shattered had one other, painful truth: since Bernie Sanders was able to win several primaries with a huge minority turnout, and even though the race was rigged, it convinced Clinton that they needed to spend more time campaigning in the inner city.

A crony of Bill Clinton’s said they “should have been out pursuing white people.”

The loss should have convinced her staffers that Clinton’s such a lousy candidate that voters would rather vote for a socialist fossil.

Now, Abedin is demanding $2 million to tell you differently.