“Retarded” Grandparents
Written by a third grader, on what his grandparents do.
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holidays away from school. One child wrote the following:
”We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear nametags, because they don't know who they are anymore.
“They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now - it is not wrecked at all. They do exercises there but they don't do them very well. There is also a swimming pool but they all jump up and down in it with hats on. At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape.
“Sometimes they sneak out and go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks; they just eat out; and they eat the same thing every night - early birds – I know because I have seen the sign for “early bird specials”. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the dollhouse. The ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center for potluck.
"My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the dollhouse. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren."
