Top 8 morons of 2007!
I know
these are a little late, but as the all-knowing, ever-present, and
unidentifiable-but-known-by-everyone “they” so often say, “better late than
never!" Regardless, they are worth the wait!
1. WILL
THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine
months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million
severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH
A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours
attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After
firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing
beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself
up.'
3. WHAT
WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist
and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE
GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up
the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police
showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I
SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the
lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man
shouted, 'that's not what I said!'.
6. ARE
WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first
child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'
7. NOT
THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, California , Steven Richard King was
arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he
failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour
east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22
foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how
much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they
putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them
what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working
condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the
propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in
the water to check underneath; he came up choking on water, he was laughing so
hard.
NOW
REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still
strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
