Drug-dealing robot goes on hospital rampage!

SAN FRANCISCO, Kalifornia - November 19, 2010 - A drug-dispensing hospital robot names Waldo suddenly went berserk at the at University of Kalifornia, San Francisco Medical Center. The rampaging robot sent a terrified doctor and horrified patient scurrying for safety.

According to a press release from the manufacturer of the pharmacy robot, ScriptPro, the machine is "designed to help pharmacies fill prescriptions that consist of oral solids or medications in pill form.” The pharmacist or pharmacy technician enters the prescription information into its information system. The system, upon determining whether or not the drug is in the robot, will send the information to the robot for filling."

The San Francisco Chronicle covered the story and wrote, "Waldo shot past the pharmacy and barged uninvited into the examination room in the radiation oncology department, where - according to an anonymous caller - a doctor was examining a cancer patient."

Hospital authorities are completely mystified how - or why - the robot suddenly gained a mind of its own. It began doing things it wasn't programmed to do.

"Waldo wouldn't leave," the newspaper article reported, "and the startled doctor and patient felt obliged to flee the room."

ScriptPro asserts "The robot is a very time efficient device that the pharmacy depends on to fill prescriptions."

Obviously Waldo exceeded ScriptPro's design parameters.

The normally benign Waldo - one of the three battery-operated hospital robots that roam about the hospital passing out medications collected at the pharmacy - is about the size of an old-fashioned TV floor console. The two other robots - named Lisa Marie and Elvis - work with Waldo and are programmed to visit the various floors of the facility and drop off the meds they carry at different nursing stations.

Once the robot orderlies finish making their rounds, they're programmed to return to the basement pharmacy to pick up any refills.

According to an employee of UCSF, however, instead of returning to the basement, Waldo developed a mind of its own and decided not to return to the pharmacy as programmed to do, but instead burst into a private examination room located in the radiation oncology department. The raucous robot proceeded to disrupt a doctor-patient consultation in progress. Despite demands that it leave, the stubborn mechanical menace threatened the two shocked human beings and they hurriedly fled in a state of panic.

In a follow-up interview, UCSF spokeswoman Carol Hyman denied any knowledge of a robot attack, but admitted she was aware of an "incident" involving the wayward tin man occurring in the examination room.

"This is the first time anything like this has happened," Hyman told the reporter. "Our technology folks are going to have to take a look."

Perhaps the techs should investigate. They might, however, consider being armed.