National Political Awards
Welcome to the Phony Awards national political awards presentation satire national and worldwide phenomenon! Below you will find the categories in which these awards will be presented.
Watch for the Phony Awards presentation... coming soon!
For the most successful political deception; this award goes to an event, as opposed to a person (for example, the events of Sept. 11, 2001, the Oklahoma City bombing of the Murrah building, etc.). This is the final award to be presented (equivalent to the Oscar for Best Picture).
Best Fraud Director
This equates to the Oscar for Best Director. It goes to the individual who is responsible for perpetrating the most effective fraud on the American people (for example, Karl Rove for orchestrating the acquisition of the presidency by George W. Bush without ever being elected to the position).
Best performance by a Senator
For best acting job by an elected official in the Senate. In other words, the senator who has put on the best performance (be sure to explain the “performance” in some detail).
Best performance by a Representative
For best acting job by an elected official in the House. In other words, the representative who has put on the best performance (be sure to explain the “performance” in some detail).
Best performance by an unelected official
For best acting job by an unelected official. This goes to any appointed official, even if he or she doesn’t work in the House or Senate. Nominees could include those who are nominated in either of the previous two categories.
Best impersonation of a public servant
Goes to the person who has most effectively maintained an image of selflessness and dedication to the American people while actually working against their interests.
Pork Barrel award
For the most wasteful use of public funds.
Best original plan to undermine freedom
This goes to the best plan, whether implemented or not, to undermine freedom in America.
For the most dishonest judge (federal or state).
Gutless Sheriff award
For the sheriff who does the least to protect the freedoms and property rights of the people in his county.
Alexander M. Haig crisis management award
This goes to the elected or appointed government official or employee who has displayed the greatest disregard for constitutional limitations while dealing with some kind of emergency.
Tom Delay ethics award
For the elected or appointed official whose behavior most reflects the kind of ethics we have come to expect from politicians.
Al Capone business management award
For the government agency, instrumentality, or organization that has shown the greatest ability to extort and intimidate the American people into compliance.
Mark Furman minority relations award
For the elected or appointed government official or employee who has shown the greatest bias, bigotry, prejudice, and partiality in the performance of his or her duties.
Harry Houdini special effects award
For the best display of political sleight-of-hand.
George Orwell Newspeak award
For the best example of Orwellian newspeak (for example, George W. Bush, for developing the word “terrorist” into a justification for the most egregious violations of American law).
Robert Mugabe creative economics award
For the individual most responsible for the current state of the U.S. economy.
Josef Stalin security enhancement award
For the individual or organization that most exemplifies the security philosophies of Hitler and Stalin (for example, Dept. of Homeland Security).
Joseph Goebbels public relations award
For the most skillful liar in government.
Pond Scum Lifetime Achievement award
For an individual who has had a consistent and profound impact on the lives of the American people throughout his or her political career.