Oxy-Morons!

on . Posted in Humor and Inspiration

  1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
  2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
  3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
  4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
  5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
  6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
  7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
  8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
  9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
  10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
  11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
  12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
  13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
  14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
  15. Why is the word "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
  16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
  17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
  18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
  20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
  21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
  22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
  23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
  24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
  25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
  27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
  28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

 

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A. Solzhenitsyn
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Joseph A. Stack
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Bill Walsh
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Walter Cronkite
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Eustace Mullins
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Paul Harvey
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Don Harkins
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Derry Brownfield
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Leroy Schweitzer
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Vaclav Havel
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Andrew Breitbart
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Dick Clark
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Bob Chapman
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Ray Bradbury
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Tommy Cryer
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Andy Griffith
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Phyllis Diller
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Larry Dever
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Brian J. Chapman
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Annette Funnicello
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Margaret Thatcher
1925-2012

Richie Havens
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Jack McLamb
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James Traficant
1941-2014

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Dr. Stan Monteith
1929-2014

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Leonard Nimoy
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Stan Solomon
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B. B. King
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Irwin Schiff
1928-2015

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DAVID BOWIE
1947-2016

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Muhammad Ali
1942-2016

Muhammed Ali

GENE WILDER
1933-2016

gene wilder

phyllis schlafly
1924-2016

phylis schafly

John Glenn
1921-2016

John Glenn

Charles Weisman
1954-2016

Charles Weisman

Carrie Fisher
1956-2016

Carrie Fisher

Debbie Reynolds
1932-2016

Debbie Reynolds

Roger Moore
1917-2017

Roger Moore

Adam West
1928-2017

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JERRY LEWIS
1926-2017

jerry lewis

HUGH HEFNER
1926-2017

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PROF. STEPHEN HAWKING
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ART BELL
1945-2018

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DWIGHT CLARK
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CARL MILLER
1952-2017

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HARLAN ELLISON
1934-2018

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STAN LEE
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stan lee