Old but good sayings!

on . Posted in Humor and Inspiration


Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: -'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
Rodney Dangerfield

Money can't buy you happiness. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
Spike Milligan

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
Billy Crystal

And the cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out.

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A. Solzhenitsyn
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Joseph A. Stack
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Bill Walsh
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Walter Cronkite
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Eustace Mullins
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Paul Harvey
1918-2009

Don Harkins
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Joan Veon
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David Nolan
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Derry Brownfield
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Leroy Schweitzer
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Vaclav Havel
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Andrew Breitbart
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Dick Clark
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Bob Chapman
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Ray Bradbury
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Tommy Cryer
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Andy Griffith
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Phyllis Diller
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Larry Dever
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Brian J. Chapman
1975-2012

Annette Funnicello
1942-2012

Margaret Thatcher
1925-2012

Richie Havens
1941-2013

Jack McLamb
1944-2014

James Traficant
1941-2014

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Dr. Stan Monteith
1929-2014

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Leonard Nimoy
1931-2015

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Stan Solomon
1944-2015

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B. B. King
1926-2015

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Irwin Schiff
1928-2015

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DAVID BOWIE
1947-2016

David Bowie

Muhammad Ali
1942-2016

Muhammed Ali

GENE WILDER
1933-2016

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phyllis schlafly
1924-2016

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John Glenn
1921-2016

John Glenn

Charles Weisman
1954-2016

Charles Weisman

Carrie Fisher
1956-2016

Carrie Fisher

Debbie Reynolds
1932-2016

Debbie Reynolds

Roger Moore
1917-2017

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Adam West
1928-2017

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JERRY LEWIS
1926-2017

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HUGH HEFNER
1926-2017

Hugh Hefner

PROF. STEPHEN HAWKING
1942-2018

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ART BELL
1945-2018

Art Bell

DWIGHT CLARK
1947-2018

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CARL MILLER
1952-2017

Carl Miller

HARLAN ELLISON
1934-2018

Harlan Ellison

STAN LEE
1922-2018

stan lee