SACRAMENTO, California - July 24, 2008 - Californians are set to vote this fall on a referendum to change the name of their state!
AB.3122 - whose short title is, Californians Organized to Manifest Marxism through a United Network of the Independent and Socially Minded (COMMUNISM) Act, proposes to change the name of this state from California to Kalifornia, in order to more accurately reflect the socialistic direction the state has taken for as long as this reporter has been alive, that’s for sure!
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has offered no insight as to where he stands on this pending legislation, though sources close to the State’s Chief Executive have been quick to imply that the Governator seems to like the look and sound of the proposed new State name.
“It reminds me of my childhood in Austria. It makes me think of some of the more notable figures in Austrian history. Then I become nostalgic and just want to get together with my old friends and order the National Guard to sing and goosestep!” said a California State House source on condition of anonymity.
Many of the State’s legislators at the forefront of the fight for better education have already expressed support and satisfaction for the COMMUNISM Act. Assemblyman Charles Smith of Nevada and Grass Valley counties commented, “California graduates will no longer be confused by the spelling of our State’s name. After all it sounds like it begins with a K, not a C. Doesn’t it? This legislation will help our children to become more successful!”
The citizens’ referendum has sparked public hearings hosted by Senator Dianne Feinstein and Representative Barbara Boxer, to explore whether the California Legislature may be on to something. Feinstein and Boxer are asking Californians - pardon me, Kalifornians - what they think of the idea of simply removing the letter C from the alphabet.
“Kalifornians are pioneers. We forge the ground; other States follow our lead. Why don’t we revise the English alphabet to eliminate the letter C? We already have the letters K and S,” said Feinstein at a recent press conference. “Representative Boxer and I intend to ask for Congress to fund a subcommittee to study this critical issue. In today’s post-9/11 world, we cannot afford to ignore any possible avenue when it comes to protecting the lives of Americans. That’s why we are both standing firmly behind efforts to move this legislation forward."