WASHINGTON - In a political effort to distract voters, the Republican Party today announced that terrorist Osama Bin Laden will be pardoned by President Bush sometime before the 2008 election.
A Republican spokesperson stated, "It's been 6 years; we can't find Osama Bin Laden, we can't catch him, we can't kill him. We might as well pardon him and move on to more important matters such as wasting time, wasting money and getting elected."
Democratic presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton, responded, "The Republicans are a bunch of impotent, self-important men who can't find Bin Laden, can't catch him and can't kill him. We Democrats would never have even tried to get Osama, we have more important things to do, like waste time, waste money and get elected."
A recent Giddyup Poll shows that 75% of conservative voters in the U.S. would like to see Osama Bin Laden dead while 25% would like to see him spend the rest of his life in prison. Among U.S. liberal voters, 25% would like to see Osama Bin Laden dead while 75% would like to see him run for president.
copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence